Archive for January, 2006
The irony is not lost on me
Today makes a full year I’ve been on the job. It also marks a whole year that I’ve not called in sick a single time. I’m particularly proud of this; I had a horrible attendence record in college, and had any of my professors stuck with their own “miss three classes and automatically fail” policies, [...]
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I am tired and sore and irritable and all my shit is still in boxes, grouped in little islands in the new apartment. We got started at 9 a.m. on Sunday and brought the last box up at 9 p.m. last night (that’s Monday for those of you playing along at home).
I was supposed [...]
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A day late, lots of dollars short.
AppetizerChoose one: Popcorn, Pizza, Pretzels, Peanuts, or Pasta.Popcorn. Wish I had some now.
SoupDescribe your personality in terms of a particular vehicle.Oh, hell. Seriously? I’m not creative enough to fake it. I don’t know anything about cars of any type, nor do I care enough to ascribe my personality [...]
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All the fire in hell right now could not be hotter than my anger for the incompetent paper pushers at Memphis Light, Gas & Water.
First there was this. But they warned us for months that price gouging was to be expected in the winter months. And like a nation of turtles on our backs, [...]
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What’s the matter with Arkansas?
Based on what I’ve seen on the wire today alone, we should really be focusing our national attention on Tennessee’s asking what’s the matter with Arkansas, not Kansas.
Because people — mostly parents — are going crazy over there.
You’ve got these assholes who chained their daughter to a bed, which led to her death when their [...]
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Cat fight
After the aliens invaded, all professional females were turned into cats so they could be cuddled.
When I saw the above issue of STEP on my art director’s desk a week or so ago, I cringed. The cover just felt wrong, even to someone who relishes irony. But I took my gut reaction, folded it into [...]
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Internet, cable:With the flip of a switch, gone.Three days early, jerks.
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Truth sits upon the lips
A before-and-after composite illustrating Carmex’s magical healing effects.
‘Twas not too long ago that I took some cheap shots at one Angelina Jolie’s cushy but fractured lipscape, saying, and I blockquote:
Angelina Jolie has diseased, cracked, pulpy lips that frighten and confuse me. She has the lips of a clueless, sloppy fifth grader in January. [...]
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It’s true. It’s all logged somewhere, your search terms along with your IP address. And the government wants it (OK, not the IP address part; not yet, at least). Here’s hoping you relegated your really embarrassing searches to Booble.
The Forbes story I linked above contains a really laughable point. Well, I laughed. That makes it [...]
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Three hundred sixty-five
Today marks a year in Memphis. At times, the days dragged on with excruciating precision, each minute calculated to live its full life. At other times, an entire month was gone in a blip and I had neither memories nor photographs by which I could remember it. But really, has it been a whole year? [...]
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